What makes a good parent?
A good parent is someone who strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just identified by the parent 's actions, but additionally the intention of theirs.
A great parent doesn't need to be ideal. No one is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves then and first our children second. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Listed here are ten tips that will help you be a much better parent, learn effective parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Not all of them tend to be that simple.
Not everybody can do them constantly.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do a component of these tips in this parenting guide, you will be moving in the right direction if you keep working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part since we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them into our own. Children, particularly, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, be the individual you want your child to be - respect your child, show them good behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show your love.
There's simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them can't spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love can cause the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and also not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and essentially determine who we are. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by using positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and implement them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be a chance for them to learn for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting your child know that you'll remain there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you will have a much better connection with the child of yours and your kid will come to you when there is an issue.
But there is another reason for communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which various organs should coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to function harmoniously as an entire, meaning fewer tantrums, more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to describe what happened and how they felt developing attuned communication.
You don't need to offer solutions. You do not need to have all of the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might wish to alter several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of how you would do it differently in a real scenario. Try to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you don't succeed at first. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the overall health of the marriage of yours are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to strengthen your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Don't be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make an impact in the parenting of theirs and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking can result in short term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is more vulnerable to fighting along with other children. They're more likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're additionally far more likely to lead to oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective options to discipline which have been shown to be much more effective, like positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in raising a child?
If you're like the majority of parents, you want the child of yours to excel in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and satisfying life.
But just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you are like most parents, you probably spend the majority of the time just trying to get https://parentinghowto.com/ through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain kid, rather than helping your child thrive, spent most of time simply trying to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate your life, the next time you're feeling angry or frustrated, step back. Consider what frustration and anger will do for you or the child of yours.
Instead, look for ways to turn each negative experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into invaluable brain-sculpting moments in case you focus on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting strategies, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and information that are backed by science, here is one of my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be many different effective parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally decide to use "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and may still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have better outcomes under good parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" regardless of how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not because of it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice may not be the easiest way to parent. It may require more work on the part of yours in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards typically come much later than the effort. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and also have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!